Thursday 30 June 2011

Non-materialistic craving.

Ha! ATTENTION! That's my biggest one. The "HEY, Look at me! Look at me! Love me!" attention. Ask hubby, he'll tell you. I get pretty damn needy at times.

And today is a really big day for my neediness. I'm on day 12 of my quit and I can feel Crazy Me at the wheel. Hubby didn't kiss me good-bye this morning, so I'm mad at him. He hasn't texted yet and I'm mad at him. None of these things are intentional as my husband is a very sweet man. And I could always go and get a kiss from him...but Crazy Me (yes I label myself! All the time actually) decided that I'm cranky and struggling with not smoking and chose to be mad instead. It's these days and these moments I've chose to smoke in the past just to ease the pain and feel somewhat normal. And that is addict thinking in a nutshell. Addiction 101.

#$#*&

The idea of going back to bed and waking up tomorrow is very appealing. I do have another session with my personal trainer this morning ... hopefully I can shift my energy instead of making it worse for myself the rest of the day.

The second noble truth teaches us that the cause of suffering is craving. Hahaha...Yep...sure is!

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