Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Another day with a stomach ache. The pain is tolerable and the swelling has reduced some, so looks like I'll live. Seems it was a horrendous case of indigestion. I've had brutal pains in the past..sometimes it's an intestinal infection, hernia, or just my sensitive tummy. Frustrating.

Which brings me back to negativity and stress. How much is stress triggering these attacks? I think it's safe to say it's at least making them worse. So while I look into food elimination, I should also be aware of how I react and handle stress. I think my reaction to every negative moment in the household is playing it's part in this whole situation. Medically..I'm "fine" what's left?

I'm not saying it's all in my mind..there's something very physical going on here. I just think I'm going to rely less on test results and more on diet and lifestyle. I believe I can reduce the agony by changing my mind, so to speak.

I've proven in the past, that a positive attitude yields positive results...why not try?

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Oh my tummy

The pain was ridiculous this time. And my stomach swelled up soooo big. Even almost 24 hours later I'm still swollen and cramping. I've always had a sensitive stomach, but this is too much.

The trip to ER has ruled out some more things, so the list of "what isn't wrong" is growing...but still not understanding this last attack. And now I feel heartburn starting up. Argh.

At this point I'm going to try an elimination diet and see what happens. Basically eat rice, certain veggies and fruit, nuts, and lots of water. Once I get to a point where I have not suffered any pain for quite a number of days I can introduce new foods (one at a time) and keep track of any changes.

Symptoms right now..

- swollen abdomen
- painful cramps on the right hand side.
- frequent tightening in the middle of stomach
- burning on the top part of the stomach
- acid reflux
- gassy
- constipated

Definitely not my sexiest moment. And I'm oh so tired. I've had two small bowls of white rice in the last hour and that's the only thing I've eaten today. Going to drink lots of water and hope for a good rest tonight.

Monday, 28 March 2011

Today is a new day!

It would help to remember this every day. Lately the negative energy in this house has been spiraling out of control. Blows me away how quickly it can, once again, take over. The "negative nellie" syndrome seems so easy and effortless. Argh!

So here I go...

When I quit drinking (417 days ago! Woot woot!) I had to work my ass off to overcome my old ways of thinking. I now sit here, many moons later, in some weird slump. I'm nowhere near where I was in the old days, but neither am I feeling as good as I did in my early sobriety. So what's happen?

My best guess is a comfort/take things for granted kinda attitude. A dangerous place to be. Not that I'm taking everything for granted...but the work I put in a year ago. I just assumed (I think!) that it should all be roses and I can slack off. In my second year I should be able to sit back and just enjoy my new life, right?

It's my perception that's the problem. I think of everything I've done as "work". Who wants to "work" so hard all the time without a break? Positive Quitting Working (ok, well that's in the title). How do I change it around? These are all things I need to do in order to put my best "me" out into the world. To maintain balance. I need to rewire the deepest parts of my mind. It isn't work. It's healing. It's self care.

I've been lacking in caring for myself. Somewhere along the way I took a break and expected everything to just keep on clicking along. I assumed I had learned the tools and that would be enough. And damn if my energy isn't contagious! All it takes is one little negative moment to undo all the positive moments before it. Negativity is a beast! On the other little positive moment, can also be enough to spark many other positive moments and undo all the negativity.

So what's my plan? Well for today, I'm going to start by counting my blessings. Honestly, I have a wonderful life. I wake up next to my wonderful, loving husband who is truly my best friend. I have two beautiful, healthy daughters. I don't go without necessities in life, and I have quite a few wantsl. All in all...that's a pretty damn good start to any day.

I'm normally a "fix everything" all at once kinda girl...but I'm thinking for today, I'm going to slow down a bit. Baby steps I figure. The fact that I've typed all this is a major step in the right direction. I'm going to add "drink more water and take a vitamin" to my list and see what happens from there.

Today is a new day...I'm going to embrace and enjoy it!