I didn't sleep well last night, my stomach is still incredibly sore this morning and my headspace is all about the negative. I have to write something, even if it's all over the place and doesn't make sense.
Quitting smoking - I'm so choked I'm back here again. It's day 39 (which is great) but for the amount of attempts at this crap I really should've kicked it a long time ago and not struggling so hard to hit the six week mark. Nothing about smoking makes any sense and I'm a fairly intelligent person....freaking addictions. They'll cripple anyone.
And while I'm bitching....why does it seem so easy to be unmotivated? Was hitting the gym on a regular basis, feeling fantastic - a couple of health things come up and temporarily put everything on hold and now the gym seems like work again. I won't make myself go. I'm pretty much deciding that feeling great and improving my health is too much work so I'll sit at home and whine about everything in this here blog. I could actually pick my ass off this chair and head to the gym now. But I'm gonna just keep on typing.
Same with meditation. Won't do it. Both the gym and meditation will probably help my stomach issues for more effectively than the umpteen pills the doctors have all thrown at me...yet, I do nothing. I take the pills, sleep like crap, suffer for a couple nights of month then whine, bitch and moan. Why? What is it about positive changes? No one wants to suffer but how much is anyone doing to avoid suffering? I'm all about it apparently. Won't do anything then parade through life on my "woe is me" pity train.
SOOO frustrated right now.
Kay...feeling a little better. Just feeling so stagnant in life right now and have no idea why I stand in my own way all of the time. On with my day....
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